Faith From 9 to 5

Stop Worrying if the World Will End on Saturday

I have a confession to make. I barely read the news anymore. It's just too negative. As a small business owner I can't afford to let negativity seep into my mental state.

I still know the basics of what's going on.

I had heard about this belief that the Apocalypse will start on Saturday (thanks for that heads up by the way) and then this morning I saw this post that explained how people have come to this conclusion.

But we've been having people talk about the end of the world for ages now.

So what should you do?

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best is usually my philosophy for most things.

Jesus talked about the master coming like a thief in the night and when asked about His return He told His disciples that only the Fther knew that time.

So rather than worry about it I think each of us needs to get our spiritual house in order.

There are several parables that use stories of how being unprepared leaves a person without what they need (the man who asks his neighbor for bread and the brides who don't bring oil for their lamps to name a few).

How do we prepare for the unexpected return of Christ? By looking within to honestly determine if our lives are in sync with our stated beliefs.

If you say you believe that Jesus is the Son of God and is your Savior, do you truly follow and apply His teaching?

That answer can only be "not always" if you're honest.

It's easy to be a good, godly person when you're home and surrounded by your loved ones. But what about in the office when so much is on the line?

Do you treat people badly in meetings? Talk about them at lunch? Do your best to beat them for that promotion or project?

So as each of us moves through our day and towards the end of the week, lets reflect on the kindness and non-judgmental actions that marked Jesus' behavior.

If we've truly accepted Him as our Savior then our actions would demonstrate that.

After all, we're charged to live IN this world, not be OF this world.

So be sure to get your work done and leave your files in order in case someone left behind needs to pick up your duties on Monday.

Why people are making you crazy

I just answered an email from a friend and colleague who I upset. It's a long story I won't go into but I made what I thought was a casual remark on Facebook that she took seriously and that hurt her.

At least she mentioned it to me and told me how she felt. Often our feelings get hurt and we don't say anything about it, allowing the frustration to build up over time until we're holding a huge grudge against the person.

When I read her email which detailed just how badly she feels and how much I hurt her I could feel myself get frustrated and irritated. "How petty and overly sensitive of her!" I thought. The more frustrated I became the less I read and the more I skimmed of her full page email.

Naturally I had no intention to hurt her. The comment was a casual one that I didn't give much thought to.

And therein lies a big part of the problem.

I started this by making a comment without fully thinking through what I was writing and without choosing my words carefully. I know better, but I did it anyway.

I  can't control how she (or others) interpret my comments. All I can do is make sure my words are true expressions of what I'm actually thinking. Most words have many different meanings so it's important to choose them -- and the adjectives and adverbs that modify them -- carefully.

So why did I get frustrated when reading her email?

That defensive reaction happened because I felt accused of hurting her -- which is something I would never intentionally do. Having my intentions misunderstood upsets me. As someone who makes their living writing I don't like knowing I was unclear in my writing and in my messaging.

I also got frustrated because this sort of thing slows you down. I'm in a hurry like most people are and have a long to-do list every day. Having someone tell me they're upset with me requires me to slow down and deal with a situation I hadn't planned for in my schedule.

It would be very easy to just say "well it's her problem, not mine" but that's not a very charitable way to handle things and it's also not entirely true. A communication breakdown is the result of a problem on both sides. As people of faith we must be sensitive to how we come across, thankful when someone points out we weren't effective in our communication, and compassionate enough to make things right.

It's frustrating and time consuming but very necessary.

Stop complaining to customers

I stop at the same convenience store every morning like many people do. When we do that we see the same employees behind the counter and develop a certain level of familiarity with them.

Yesterday the guy who's often at the cash register when I'm there very early in the morning greeted me as usual but when I replied, there was a sarcastic tone to his voice that I hadn't heard on other mornings.

I asked him how he was doing and off he went. He started complaining about his employer. Now we all know that employers can be rotten. Many companies have stupid policies and there are lots of poor managers (I've worked for quite a few myself).

But your customers don't want to hear that.

He was obviously baiting me to get me to ask him something that he could interpret as an invitation to vent. And vent he did.

He may have felt better but I certainly didn't. And his complaints weren't particularly powerful. He didn't beg me to report his employer to the police for violating his civil rights. He didn't whisper that he's being held against his will.

When I mentioned there were lots of people who'd like to be in his shoes and that in this economy he might want to consider the alternative, that only set him off again.

I left, determined to avoid him the next time I come in.

This is an example of pride rearing its ugly head.

This guy was determined to vent to someone and he didn't care who. Venting like that might make you feel better because your stressful emotions are released for a time but it doesn't make the other person feel good.It also doesn't do anything to address the root cause of your _____________ (fill in the blank with the emotion you're feeling). It's a passive-aggressive type of behavior that damages your reputation and that of your employer (or whoever you may be complaining about). Ultimately it doesn't improve your situation or your company.

In Matthew Christ told his followers that if they were making an offer to the altar yet have a problem with their brother they were to leave their gift and reconcile with their brother.

I've done this same sort of thing myself. It doesn't fix anything and often can make things worse. If you're not going to talk to someone who can take action about your problem then you must do the internal work to address the issue within yourself.

5 Tips to Uncover and Apply Scripture to Life from 9 to 5

The Bible shares history and inspiration with us. It also educates us on the kind of behavior and thinking that allow us to develop a strong relationship with God.  Faith is really meaningless if we just mouth the words to prayers or read scripture and don’t really think about its meaning and how it applies in our lives.

The issue of application is an important one and it’s also a challenging one.  Christ regularly chastised the Pharisees and Sadducees for getting caught up in the details and losing site of the main thrust of their faith.  They may have been living the rules and regulations of their religion but they weren’t applying the underlying philosophies of love and compassion.

Even though we want to live a godly life and radiate the love of Christ it’s very difficult to do that.  One reason is simply because applying our faith in our daily lives requires thought and changing behaviors that are often deeply ingrained habits.

In the workplace, where so much is at stake, it can be easy for us to allow pride and emotions like anger and frustration take over and hold us back from truly applying our faith at work.  Regular, focused Bible study can help us get out of our own way, reflect on how to apply the readings in our lives  

Here are 5 tips to help you start – or get more – out of your Bible study.  

1.  Set aside a time for study every day.  It takes about three weeks to develop a new habit and it will be easier to make your study a habit if you do it at the same time every day.  You may need to actually put it in your scheduling system.   

2.  Create a study kit.  A little organization will go a long way towards helping you take your reading to a deeper level.  Put together a kit that includes a notebook, pen / pencil, sticky notes, and a highlighter or colored pencil for underlining and keep all of those things together in one place.  This will also help you make Bible study a habit.  

3.  Consider the lesson for those at the time. Think about the time period when these words were first spoken and first heard.  What was life like for the people hearing the message and what lesson were they supposed to take away and apply in their lives?  

4.  Reflect on how those lessons apply in your life today? Jesus spoke in parables that used metaphors and symbolism to make his point and He’d explain the metaphors to the apostles.  How do those things relate to your faith, life, and actions? What lessons can you take from those examples and the other writings in the Bible?  

5.  Take one action to apply the lesson. Learning truly happens when we embrace a concept and make it part of our lives.  Consider the lesson from the reading and the example shown by those written about. How will you apply your learning to your life?  Especially in your life from 9 to 5. Will you be less judgmental like Jesus, more compassionate like the Good Samaritan, more brave like Esther?   Our focus shouldn’t be to simply read the Bible through from start to finish and be done. It should be on uncovering the lessons available on every page, reflecting on how they apply in our lives, and taking action to truly live our faith in every area of our lives.

Apologize to coworkers you've hurt

We move through most days at work at a furious pace. The phrase "doing more with less" has become almost trite since we've all got tons more to do than there's time for.

We tend to respond without thinking, focused intently on getting things done and crossing them off of our to-do lists. When that happens it's easy to be only thinking of our own needs and we can accidentally hurt others in our haste to get things done.

I recently hurt the feelings of a very good friend and colleague. I felt terrible (and still do) about what I'd done when I realized it. I apologized to her but I also let everyone involved in the situation know my actions may have hurt this woman and I apologized to them too.

You may feel the apology to her was all that was needed but others witness our behavior and it damages our reputation with those people. Letting them know I realized what I did and that it was hurtful was important to me.

The slights we inflict on each other can cause barriers to good communication at work and lead to hard feelings, anger, and resentment. As people of faith who are far from perfect it's important that we admit our mistakes to each other and make a commitment to being more aware moving forward so we don't repeat that behavior.

Attention: The world does not revolve around you

I just hung up with someone who told me she stopped coming to meetings of the networking group I belong to because people don't believe she's a "real" business person (she has a swing band) and didn't support her. She said she gave out free tickets to an event and no one came to see her.

I said I was sorry she felt people didn't respect her efforts but I didn't believe it was true that people don't believe she has a real business. I also pointed out that people are incredibly busy and even if they receive free tickets to an event they have to choose among a huge number of "must do's".

One of my former bosses was famous for saying "perception is reality" and "there's 3 sides to every situation...yours, mine, and the truth -- which is somewhere in the middle." He was dead on with both statements.

It can be very easy for us to believe our version of reality is in fact the truth. Our brain's naturally function that way. Our brain believes we're the most important person in the world and what we think and believe is normal, rational, and ideal. So if someone does something we believe is the opposite to what we would do in that same situation they must be odd or whatever adjective you care to use. That's because WE'RE not odd and we would have done something different.

This version of judging people and situations is how the brain works and how it makes sense of the various things we see and experience during any given day.

Before you rush to judgment about others stop to think about things from their perspective. What are all the reasons they would have acted the way they did? If you're only coming up with negative reasons stop and ask yourself for positive ones.

This may shock you but no one wakes up in the morning dreaming of ways to annoy you, hurt you, or drive you crazy. Some days that's harder to believe than others but it's true.

We're all simply trying to get our needs met. And sometimes we're a little more self-centered about it than others.

Instead, try thinking the best of people. Try starting off with assuming they never meant to hurt you, anger you, or upset you. For example, instead of assuming the person who walked by without saying hello was snubbing you, assume they were preoccupied and didn't see you. Afterall, haven't YOU been so preoccupied you didn't see someone?

When I was in the corporate universe someone complained to me about being "ignored" by a new VP who happened to by my husband's new boss. The employee went on and on about what a disgrace it was this person couldn't be bothered to say hello to a regular employee and how this VP would find it hard to lead a division of people when line employees weren't following him.

I asked the employee where this insult had taken place. He told me. It was in the noisiest area of the building. I asked him which direction they each were traveling in. He told me. It was on the new VP's deaf side.

I pointed this out to him and he said "gee, I didn't know that."

My point exactly.

There's lots about other people we don't know and yet we leap to conclusions and judgments about them.

And yet, as Christ so well pointed out how can we point out the splinter in somone's eye when we have a PLANK sticking out of our own?

Forgiving -- the real challenge of living our Christian faith

Michael Vick is scheduled to play in a preseason game tonight with his new team, the Philadelphia Eagles. I'm not a fan of pro sports in general but I have to admit I'll probably be watching tonight. Not to see Vick so much as to see the reaction of the Philadelphia fans. 

Eagles fans are legendary for being among the...shall we say...boisterous?

They booed Santa in the 1960s for Pete's Sake.

Vick of course was with the Atlanta Falcons when he was arrested and convicted of a huge dog fighting operation and admitted abusing and killing dogs that didn't win.

He has since been released and is working with the Humane Society of the United States to help educate young people that what he did was wrong and animals are meant to be cared for.

From what I've seen on television since his signing with the Eagles, some people are having a very hard time getting past what he did.

Some even feel he should still be in prison.

It makes me sad to think of the animals he treated so badly. I can't bear to look at the photos of tortured dogs (or any other animal for that matter).

But for Christians, forgiveness is a foundational tenet of the faith. Without it we have no hope.

We regularly pray to God to "forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Christ's message was one of love and forgiveness. 

How can we then, NOT forgive Michael Vick?

Is there any among us who hasn't made a mistake and exercised poor judgment? Haven't we all had a set of beliefs we later came to realize was wrong?

I have to believe Michael Vick is sincere in his repentance and will work hard to become a good role model for young people. 

And yes, I believe that simply because he said so. Isn't that what we ask of others? Isn't it what we ask of the Lord? 

Can you forgive Michael Vick?

Like many people I was surprised to hear the Philadelphia Eagles had signed Michael Vick after being out of prison for 3 months. I was sure he WOULD end up being signed but I thought it would take more time for it to happen.

I'm an animal lover and I was horrified when I read the news of the dogfighting ring that Vick ran. I tried to look at the pictures that accompanied the stories when they were first released but couldn't bring myself to. Hurting animals is just something I can't process. I'll never understand the mindset of someone who does that or who condones it.

People are angry that the Eagles have signed Vick. Some are angry because they feel he hasn't been punished enough. But he served his time in jail and has been released. He's supposed to be working with the national Humane Society to help spread the word that dogfighting is wrong.

I saw a few clips over the weekend that showed angry football fans and animal lovers who said they couldn't forgive Vick for what he'd done. It made me wonder how many of those people are Christians.

Love and forgiveness are the core elements of our faith.  Christ tells his disciples in Mark 11:25-26 that if they are praying and realize they have something against someone they're to forgive that person. We must forgive others if we're to ask forgiveness from God.

Yes, Michael Vick's behavior was outrageous. Yes, he deserved to be punished. Now that he has been and has told the world he's remorseful and realizes what he did was wrong we must believe him. We make a similar request of God every time we repent and return to Him.

If we don't believe in redemption and in rehabilitation then no one who goes to jail for anything should ever be let out.

Christ also told us the 2nd greatest commandment was to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. That includes Michael Vick. We must do the work within ourselves to forgive him, and If we call ourselves Christians we must work towards forgiving our neighbors. This is probably our greatest challenge as people of faith.

Who are you having trouble forgiving and what can you do to move towards forgiveness?

Stop snapping at people online or off

Do you contribute to blogs (rather than just reading them?) or forums? Do post or respond to the posts of others? I do occassionally and am trying to build more of a presence online in my business.

Last week I posted a question on 2 large boards that each have several forums. I posted my question on most of the forums because I wanted to get as many responses as possible. I was as honest as I could be and told readers I was doing research for a writing project.

Many of the handful of people who responded on one board were very nice and gave me full, well thought out answers which I thanked them for.  The other board generated a couple of responses but they were snippy and sarcastic. I resisted the temptation to respond with the same snippiness and tried to further explain my question and why I was posting on the site. More snippiness.

I'm not sure I understand this behavior. Why would you respond if you don't want to genuinely answer the question? If you think the question is stupid then just don't respond to it.

I suppose there's an element of being hidden that makes people feel comfortable acting out online.

I know that when I was in my early 20's I had a tendency to say the first thing that popped into my head.  I would make some smart-mouthed comment or rather than just give the answer to a question I'd been asked I'd include all of this "editorial" content that really wasn't necessary.

I'm still not sure why I did it but it took a manager I had to point this out and help me see how it was hurting my image as a professional. He helped me see that my comments weren't helpful and weren't in line with the reputation I wanted to create.

It hurt to hear that but after I reflected on what he said I realized how right he was. I practiced two techniques I remembered from growing up and they helped me a lot. I still use them.

First was taught to me by my mother. She always said "You can think whatever you want but don't say it."  Next was a technique my public speaking professor taught us to use at various times in a speech. This was particularly helpful when trying to get rid of uh's and um's. He said just close your mouth and say it in your head. It actually worked for me and I could deliver an entire speech with no uh's.

So think about how you're responding to your coworkers and how you're responding to strangers and acquaintances online.  As the old saying goes, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Do you listen to others or to God?

My Bible readings over the last several days have included parts of the first book of Samuel. In chapter 15, Samuel tells Saul that he (Saul) has been chosen as king of Israel and that God had a mission for him. Saul doesn't perform the mission exactly as it was given to him and when Samuel confronts him Saul tries to give a good excuse to make up for it.

Samuel doesn't buy it and Saul admits that he listened to the people "because I feared the people and obeyed their voice."

Boy, how many times has that happened to us at work? We know what's right and yet we give in to the pressure we feel from others.

This can happen when someone tells an inappropriate joke and we smile or laugh politely because we figure it's easier to "go along to get along" rather than call the person on their inappropriate behavior.

Or when as leaders who need to share some new policy we blame "them" or "management" for the change because we want to come across as our employees' friend rather than as the member of management that we are.

But being a person of faith calls us to live that faith every single minute of every single day. Dealing with the strain of being IN the world but not OF the world is part of that.  I'm not saying we're better than others -- far from it. I'm saying that we have to somehow put our faith into action while navigating our roles and relationships within this world we move in.

It's not easy.

How do you find the strength to keep the faith and put your actions in sync with your beliefs?