Faith From 9 to 5

Attention: The world does not revolve around you

I just hung up with someone who told me she stopped coming to meetings of the networking group I belong to because people don't believe she's a "real" business person (she has a swing band) and didn't support her. She said she gave out free tickets to an event and no one came to see her.

I said I was sorry she felt people didn't respect her efforts but I didn't believe it was true that people don't believe she has a real business. I also pointed out that people are incredibly busy and even if they receive free tickets to an event they have to choose among a huge number of "must do's".

One of my former bosses was famous for saying "perception is reality" and "there's 3 sides to every situation...yours, mine, and the truth -- which is somewhere in the middle." He was dead on with both statements.

It can be very easy for us to believe our version of reality is in fact the truth. Our brain's naturally function that way. Our brain believes we're the most important person in the world and what we think and believe is normal, rational, and ideal. So if someone does something we believe is the opposite to what we would do in that same situation they must be odd or whatever adjective you care to use. That's because WE'RE not odd and we would have done something different.

This version of judging people and situations is how the brain works and how it makes sense of the various things we see and experience during any given day.

Before you rush to judgment about others stop to think about things from their perspective. What are all the reasons they would have acted the way they did? If you're only coming up with negative reasons stop and ask yourself for positive ones.

This may shock you but no one wakes up in the morning dreaming of ways to annoy you, hurt you, or drive you crazy. Some days that's harder to believe than others but it's true.

We're all simply trying to get our needs met. And sometimes we're a little more self-centered about it than others.

Instead, try thinking the best of people. Try starting off with assuming they never meant to hurt you, anger you, or upset you. For example, instead of assuming the person who walked by without saying hello was snubbing you, assume they were preoccupied and didn't see you. Afterall, haven't YOU been so preoccupied you didn't see someone?

When I was in the corporate universe someone complained to me about being "ignored" by a new VP who happened to by my husband's new boss. The employee went on and on about what a disgrace it was this person couldn't be bothered to say hello to a regular employee and how this VP would find it hard to lead a division of people when line employees weren't following him.

I asked the employee where this insult had taken place. He told me. It was in the noisiest area of the building. I asked him which direction they each were traveling in. He told me. It was on the new VP's deaf side.

I pointed this out to him and he said "gee, I didn't know that."

My point exactly.

There's lots about other people we don't know and yet we leap to conclusions and judgments about them.

And yet, as Christ so well pointed out how can we point out the splinter in somone's eye when we have a PLANK sticking out of our own?

Are you making sacrifices or are you obeying the Lord?

One of today's scripture readings is from chapter 15 of 1 Samuel. It's where Samuel tells Saul what the Lord wants him to do and then Saul goes and does it but puts his own spin on it. When Samuel confronts him about it, Saul says he and his men kept the best animals from those that belonged to the Amalekites so they could sacrifice them to the Lord.

Samuel says "Has the Lord as great delight in burt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of he Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams."

When do we try to do something similar to what Saul did?

I think it's when we go to church but don't give to support it. Or when we go to church but don't get active in its upkeep. But most of all I think our actions are most similar to Saul's when we do all of those things and still don't act in sync with our faith every single day.

The biggest challenge we have is living in accordance with the 2 Great Commandments -- Loving the Lord with all our heart, all our mind, all our strength, and all our soul; and loving our neighbors as our selves.

We get so caught up in dealing with our financial issues, our job issues, and other problems we face and we don't treat our neighbors (particularly those we work with) with respect, kindness, and compassion (which is what the Good Samaritan showed the wounded traveler).

What can you do today to be more loving towards those you work with? And not just with those you like but with those who you really aren't too crazy about.

What Lent Means for Us as People of Faith and Christians

As you probably know, we Christians are in the first week of Lent. Many of us give something up or remember giving something up as children. We give up chocolate or some other treat that we perceive to be a sacrifice in our tiny attempt to symbolize the sacrifice that Christ made for us.

Several years ago my priest at that time made an interesting suggestion to us at the start of Lent. He suggested we not give anything up. Instead he wanted us to take something ON...to commit to doing something extra for those 40 days.

I think this is a much better attitude to take during Lent because it's a better symbol for all that Jesus did for us.  He took on our human form and our humanity. He struggled and suffered. He cried at the thought of his own mortality and asked that the "cup" be taken away from him if possible. I think the most important thing he did was carry the burden of his mission and fulfill it in the best way he knew how.

What's great about taking something on rather than giving something up is that it's a much more positive mindset. Rather than thinking about how you're depriving yourself you're thinking more about how you can give of yourself. How you can make more time for your faith and for God.

So this Lent, rather than giving something up, consider taking something on.  My bishop has taken on the burden of posting to his blog every single day of Lent. I certainly know what a burden that is!

One year I started reading the Bible every single day during Lent. When Lent was over I kept it up, and I've read through the Bible several times now. This year I'm reading from my prayer book at least three times a day, every day.

What can you do to have a holy, thoughtful Lent?

Dealing with grief on the job and in life

I was working on a very different post when the phone rang. It was my friend's husband with an update on her health.  Things aren't looking good.  I get the impression that he thinks she won't be able to hold out much longer.

She has cancer.

She has had 2 operations on her brain to remove tumors (in the same spot) and it appears to be growing back.  She also has a "spot" on her lung and one on her liver.

He wants me to come see her later this week.

I told him I would get in the car as soon as he called me.

Each of us handles a crisis like this differently.  I've always believed that, since God gave us free choice, that my own thoughts and behaviors would impact the way I handle a problem.

I was the training manager at an Atlantic City casino hotel when the uncle who had been a second father to me passed away.  I was heartbroken.  Most of the people who knew how close we were couldn't believe I came to work the day after he died.  But I had to.  Working was -- for me -- the best way to keep myself together.  It allowed me to think of other things besides how much I'd miss him.  And he had such a love of life that getting on with mine was really a better tribute to him.

So I share this with you only to ask that as those around you struggle with loss, with fear, with the hundreds of emotions that can absorb us...that you not judge them. That you allow them to own their feelings and deal with them as best as they can.  But don't ignore them or what's happened. Just let them know that you're there to help and support them in whatever way they need you to.

And pray for them.  And for my dear friend, Stephanie.

Which “way” are you going?

Another volatile day on Wall Street as well as on Main Street.  A former co-worker contacted me and said she’s lost her job after 24 years.  A single mom of an 11-year old. 

Very sad.

This is a time when many people are fearful of what’s going to happen next.

I’m not one of them.

You’d think I would be wouldn’t you?  My husband lost his job (after 24 years…what a coincidence) a year and a half ago.  He’s a corporate attorney.  So what’s a lawyer to do when they’ve been downsized but open their own firm right?  Do you have any idea how much that costs?  You don’t want to know.

I’m an independent consultant myself.  Not an easy way to make a living.  A former boss of mine who’s now an independent licensed counselor referred to it as having to “go out and hunt and catch your next meal.”  There’s no paycheck at the end of the week and no benefits plan when you’re sick.  And there are no sick days either.

But I have to tell you I’m not afraid.

Because I know that God has His eye on me. 

I came to realize a few years ago that worrying is sort of insulting to God.  Afterall, if we REALLY believe that He’s in charge…that He loves us…that He is our protector…then what are we worried about?

Christ told us to “lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither maoth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21)

You know, when the church was just forming…after Christ died and when the apostles were out preaching…and when Paul was still Saul and out persecuting Jesus’ followers…the faith we know today as Christianity was referred to as “the way.”

When you think about it that’s a perfect way to describe it.  Christ Himself said He was “the way”.  Following Him means following a certain path of beliefs and behaviors.

I think it’s easy to lose your “way” in this world and in this time of economic upheaval it’s easy to be frightened. But when we find “the way” again, it’s the path that leads us to happiness, peace, and contentment.

To help me stay on the path and not lose my “way” I’ve begun reading from my prayer book 4 times a day.  Is that inconvenient?  Sure.  But Christ was nailed to a cross for me.  I’ll be he thought that was more than inconvenient. 

It soothes me.  It keeps me focused on Him.  It keeps me focused on the path so I don’t lose my “way.”

Am I perfect?  Of course not.  Am I at peace?  Yes. 

Join me on the path.  What can you do to stay on “the way”?

Get Tips to Bring Faith Alive in Your Daily Life

My friend, the Rev. Cory Kemp will be on a teleseminar on Thursday, September 11th at 8pm Eastern.  Below are the details.  I hope to hear you on the call!

Discover How to Bring Authentic, Meaninful Faith into Your Daily Life This Thursday, September 11th, 2008 at 8PM Eastern.

Synchronicity in Your Life, the  online magazine published by Synchronicty expert Bill White, is celebrating its first anniversary with a full month of Meet the Author teleseminars featuring Synchronicity's contributing writers. This free series is Bill's way of saying thanks to his readers for a wonderful year of growth, as well as an invitation to new readers to experience abundance in their own lives.

Starting the series off will be the Rev. Cory L. Kemp, founder of Creating Women Ministries, a web site dedicated to helping people connect with and live their faith each day.

Rev. Kemp is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin - Green Bay with a double major in Communication and the Arts and Social Change and Development with a minor in Women's Studies. She was ordained into the ministry of the Moravian Church of North America after completing her Master of Divinity degree through Moravian Theological Seminary.

With over twenty-five years of experience in individual and community ministries, Rev. Kemp has an informed perception about faith, its implications and struggles to apply it in everyday life. She focuses her work on helping people understand their faith and how faith can become transformational in their lives.

Rev. Kemp's conversation with Bill will focus on specific ways we can each make faith a conscious choice and feel its effects and rewards every day of our lives.

To be a part of this special evening celebrating Synchronicity's anniversary, just click on this link to sign up for Synchronicity's teleseminar.

By the way, Rev. Kemp will be offering a surprise of her own at the end of the call that you won't want to miss.